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Plenty of Shenanigans *The Remix

So after being off of POf for a few months, I had a true moment of weakness and boredom, and I decided it was time to log in again. These are my stories from the last 3 weeks (yes, three) :

My first date since the hiatus was with a 22 year old college student with a really nice bod. We’ll call him Polish Man. Our first date we met up for a beer (A beer) and conversation was good and he’s really attractive. I chose to ignore the fact that he is still in college because he’s getting his Masters in something engineering related this summer. So first date goes well, he tells me at the end of it that this is the “best date” he’s had in awhile and we are subsequently already making plans for date #2. Date #2 with Polish man was pretty fun, we had a few beers at his place and then went out for Cinco de Mayo. The mistake here was going to his place at all.

First, let’s focus on him being in college. Which means that his place was a total college boy bachelor pad- complete with empty liquor bottles. This was my first warning sign and problem… After we went out, we end up back at his place where in between make out sessions, he proceeds to serenade me by playing Mumford and Sons on his guitar. Well, he is in college and we had been drinking, so we ended up doing it. My problem with this is that I didn’t even want to hook up with him and he knew that, but whatever, he is in college, so something had to give.

Fun fact about me: I rarely ever stay at a man’s house after doing it. And by stay, I mean I am typically dressed by the time he comes out of the bathroom. This day was no different. So I leave, and when I get home we’re snap chatting, yada yada and make plans for our next outing. On the 3rd date we planned on going to the local farmer’s market (my kind of party). He texts me a few days prior and says that he wants to go on this night time diving trip and it’s on the same night we’re supposed to go out. That’s cool, we can just reschedule. So we make plans do get dinner and play some pool on another evening. Said night rolls around and Polish man “didn’t realize” that we were going to dinner. Ok, even though I am starving, I can deal with this. So we go play some pool and end up back at my place. Some making out and a little bit of lovin ensues, and now he’s the one running out of my place. I get a text not to long after he leaves informing me that “I’m cool” and that he wants to continue to date me, however, “You’re just not the one I want to marry and spend my life with.”

Pause. What? lol. The funniest thing to me about this is that a) I got kind of dumped by a college student and b) what college student says that?… I’m not sure if it was the sex too soon, me as a person, or if he really is looking for “the one.” But let me tell you, this short-lived experience seriously taught me that I have no business dating college kids. None.

Literally the next day I had a date with The Barber. I’m stilll seeing this guy, so I’ll spare the crazy details, but I kind of like him. He’s nice, considerate, owns his own business, and I like the way he treats me. The jury is still out on this one, but we’ll see. I definitely don’t see this one as my next serious relationship, but he’s fun for right now.   

Then came The Marine. I show up to the restaurant, and he is already sitting at the table. Doesn’t get up to greet me, so I’m already thinking this one is rude. He then proceeds to check his phone rigourously throughout the evening and mainly talked about his new job at a local vineyard like I give two shits. This is wine country, every one is in the wine biz. Well The Marine is from VA, so somehow we get on the subject of VA not being part of the South. He then proceeds to lecture me and tell me I need to brush up on my history because VA was the capital of the Confederacy during the Civil War. -___-

Listen, I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you come from, but Virginia is not the South. I don’t care what Civil War battles happened there, that is not the South. The only thing that really matters about the Civil War is the freeing of the slaves, so idk why you’re touting around this useless knowledge either…. The date ended not too long after this and, dun dun dun, he let me pay. Sooo, needless to say I will not and have not talked to him since.  

Then I went out with another 22 year old, hahaha, who just moved here. And he is a nice young man, but my last 22 year old experience ruined me. It was a typical have a beer/ meet up, and we’ve spoken since, but haven’t seen each other. Which is fine by me.

My last stop on the dating roller coaster was with The Mormon.  I didn’t go out with him knowing that he is Mormon. Not that that should matter, however, it does matter and everybody knows it. So, we’re messaging on POF and he asks me out so I’m like sure and we exchange numbers. First he asked me to go hiking and then get some food. Which isn’t unusual on the coast, but I’m not hiking with someone I don’t know, so I suggest we just get food. Red Flag 1) He agrees to food, but then asks me if I’d want to go night time golfing. I’m like ok, let’s see how the night goes but that sounds fun. He then lets me know that we have to jump the fence…

He really truly thought that asking someone to break the law on a first date was acceptable. I told him that’s not happening. Next day, he asks if I like to dance. Then asks me if I’m interested in going country swing dancing as a double date with his friend. This prompted me to ask the question “Is there something wrong with just going to dinner? lol”

So Saturday arrives and I’m thinking of cancelling all day, but I don’t. I get to the restaurant and order a beer. He orders a coke. “That’s odd,” I say to myself but keep it moving. He then orders a glass of milk with his pizza, and now I know it’s not going to work out because I don’t trust people who don’t drink. Somehow admist our boring conversation, he lets me know that he is indeed Mormon- which is why he doesn’t drink. We also somehow get on the subject of school and he let’s me know that his GPA was like a 2.something in college. Soo, you mean to tell me that you don’t drink and never have, but your grades were still abysmal?.. I thanked him for the evening, drove home, and proceeded to drink a few glasses of wine.

There’s a few other gentleman callers still waiting in the wings, but I think it’s time to shut down the POF for another few months. I don’t have the energy for this.

The thing I’ve realized this time around is that it really isn’t me and the great thing about these experiences is that it’s showing me what I don’t want in a man. And hey, that’s what it’s really all about, right?

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Posted by on May 29, 2013 in Uncategorized


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